why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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