At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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