why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
