Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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