I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
