Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
