yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just high enough for therapy.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
