You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
