Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
