Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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