Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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