If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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