you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
