were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
