O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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