my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
