what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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