ya dads aren't the best wingmen
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I still have a little drunk in my system
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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