There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
