If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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