yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
