so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize