Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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