You're completely useless in the revolution.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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