found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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