"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just pynch a tree in the face
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
