I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
