just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
