On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
