Me too!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
