we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's shark week go big or go home
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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