HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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