I want to have your abortion
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
