yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I look better un-naked...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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