seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
