shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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