I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
