haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
