Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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