just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
