I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
