Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
