from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
