sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
