lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
