I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
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