Define "chronic" masturbator.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
