There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
