omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Randomize
