I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
