I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
