I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
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