I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
