It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Randomize
