Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
