I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
