someone get that fucking seahorse.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
