dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
