She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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