I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
